


You Would Hold Me In The Underground City

by leviaxkerman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adorable, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Childhood Trauma, Cute Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Soft Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviaxkerman/pseuds/leviaxkerman
Summary: you used to be levi’s childhood girlfriend in the underground city, but he cut all ties with you and sneaked you out because he felt like he was becoming a bad person and had to protect you from himself. turns out, he hurt himself more than he ever hurt you by making you leave.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	You Would Hold Me In The Underground City

The hallway of your mansion seemed to spin as you made your way across it with small steps. The curtains seemed to dance all so sensually, the cold wind being the lead, moving them around as it wished. A white night dress was the only thing that was covering your body, and the wind made it move around and around, just like it did for the curtains.  
You strolled to the window and calmed down the curtains from their dance, but the wind still wanted them to sway. You moved away the white drapery and fixed your gaze down. The breeze began to prance with your hair. You moved your hair away from your face and went on to grab the window so you could close it, but you felt like you saw something in the corner of your eye. You looked more closely, and you saw a soldier. He was resting by the side of the river. You looked more closely, and it was your old friend from the Underground City, Levi.  
“Levi!” You called his name out, and he looked up at you in shock.

You sprinted down the stairs and made your way out the door. The rain had just ended and the grass had that vivid smell. You ran down the wooden bridge that went across the river and broke down crying as you embraced your old friend again. “Levi…” He was holding you tightly, burying his face into your neck. He pulled back and stared at you. You were speared by his grey eyes. He wiped your tears away and held on your cheek. “I can’t believe it’s you…” he said, abruptly breaking down crying. “I missed you…” He buried his face back into your neck, and his tears running down your shoulder gave you shivers. You grabbed his hand and lead him back inside your mansion. He stared at you attentively.

You were both just children when you met in the Underground City. His uncle had just left him to live on his own and even if he could handle a knife, he was still afraid, being all alone. Something similar has happened to you, but til to this day, it hurts too much to even talk about it.  
One day you were getting cornered by some thugs, it was three of them. You were scared and had no idea what to do. They kept getting closer and closer, and you just closed your eyes and shielded your face. Suddenly, you heard a sound. A sound you have heard many times before; the sound of flesh being stabbed. You opened your eyes and it was him; Levi; just another kid. He killed three men with almost no emotion on his face. You thought he was about to slay you, but instead he just grabbed your hand and lead you away. You looked back to the corpses of those three men and then at him, you didn’t say anything.  
You two went all over the city and began bonding with each other. He took you around bars, you ate for days, had his warm arms to sleep in and someone to protect you.  
But even if Levi did most of the protecting outside, behind closed doors he was more soft. He would cry easily and cling on to you, and you were happy to care for him, because you considered that the only way to thank him for keeping you safe. He couldn’t sleep properly at night, because he would have nightmares, but you still wanted him to get a good night’s rest. You took hours to help him fall asleep by singing and whisperting to him, nortouring and assuring him that everything would be okay until he closed his eyes and took his break from the world. Then, you stood up all night to wake him up from his nightmares that were so bad he would begin shaking, to do the same thing over and over again. You would then sleep in his arms as you walked around the underground city, knowing that he was rested well and ready to protect you at all costs.  
One day, when you were both 16, Levi decided that he was “slowly becoming a bad person” and could “hurt you” if you kept staying with him any longer. He helped you sneak out and you ran as fast you could, but couldn’t help but look back.

He wasn’t there.

“I want to apologize for… making you leave so suddenly without any explanation… I’ve just done something really bad that day. I considered myself a bad person… I felt like I would hurt you…” He kneeled down and kissed your hand. “I missed you helping me fall asleep. I missed protecting you. I missed holding you. I missed you.” You broke down to tears again hearing him. You fell down on your knees and he held you as you sobbed. “Don’t leave me again”, you said. He nodded and placed your head in the crook of his neck. His hands were petrifyingly cold. “Levi… you want some warm tea?” He nodded at you again. 

You made him rest on the couch. He was staring at you making tea. You poured him some of the warm drink into a cup and bringed it to him. “Thank you…”, he said. You noticed that he was holding his cup weird; holding it by the top of it instead of holding it by the handle. You giggled at him and asked, “Why are you holding your cup that way?” He giggled back and said, “It’s dumb really…”. You sat down next to him and tilted your head. “Oh! I remember now”, you said. “Was it that time you wanted to drink out of that tea cup and the handle broke?” “I’m over that, shut up.” “Levi… you cried for like 3 days straight.” “Maybe because we were homeless little kids and some tea was something so amazing to me. I was sad, now I’m not.” You leaned onto him. “You saved up so much for that tea set. When I would hold you to sleep on that time you would say that you hoped you would get enough money for it soon. Every time you woke up. And I comforted you and said you would save up enough for it soon. And then when you finally got some tea for you to drink it broke down.” He stared at his cup as you spoke. “It was traumatizing. Admit it. But we’ve always had our ways of dealing with it. You were actually so afraid to drink from tea cups, so I did this to help you...” You placed his fingers on the handle of the cup and held it as he drank from it. He quickly pulled back. “Stop it.”, he said. Your eyes widened. “Levi… you’re so tense… calm down…” You tried to rub his shoulders, but he threw your hands away. “I came all the way here to calm down, okay? I don’t need you to pamper me like you did back in the Underground.” “Levi… but you’ve said you missed me helping you fall asleep…?”

“I didn’t mean it.” 

The silence echoed.

“You wanna know something?”, you said.

He nodded.

“Maybe you are a bad person.”

He cringed and turned to the side.

“I was the only thing that kept you warm back in that hell hole and you decided to push me away. I was helping you, Levi. You are a bad person to yourself. You like hurting yourself. Why must you be so mean to your own damn self, Levi?”

“Stop it. I said I was a bad person because…”

“Because why?”

“Because even with all of your efforts I still wasn’t okay.” He fell down on his knees. “I was hurting myself just to feel something.”

You got down to him and he buried his head into your chest. “‘Maybe I was too evil to be changed. No matter what you did to me or what you told me I still felt the same way. I felt miserable.” 

“Levi… who wouldn’t feel miserable in a place like that. I know that I did for sure.” Tears began running down your face. “But we’re both out of there now… and that’s what matters.” 

“Why would you still try to help me when I was never happy?”, he asked. “You’ve saved my life. Knowing that you went to sleep without any nightmares made me feel like I was getting back to you…”

“...you did. You really did.” He began crying with you.

You grabbed the tea cup and had him drink the last bit of tea in it. 

“It’s getting late. We should sleep.” You said while rubbing your eyes.

“My team is going to worry about me… I should be moving on.” He got up, but you quickly grabbed his hand.

“Levi.”

He looked down at you and giggled. “You’re still that little girl from the Underground City.” He caressed your cheek. “Still so innocent… you have no business being with a soldier…” “Soldiers need love as well, Levi.” “W-what?”, he blushed. “I can see it on your face. You’re barely getting any sleep without me.” You placed your hands on his cheek and rubbed under his eyes, on his dark circles. He grabbed your hands off his face. “I am sleeping enough. You haven’t seen me in years… you don’t know how my life really is today.” You placed your hands back on his cheeks. “That little boy couldn’t grow up into a healthy adult.” His tears fell on your hands. “We could do this all day, Levi. Talk about how broken we are and cry and cry… but the day is already over. And you need sleep.” “I do need to sleep.”, he said as he buried his face into your neck. “But you haven’t done this to me in a long time. What if it no longer has an effect on me? I don’t even sleep for 4 hours a night… I sleep in a chair. Fully clothed. Otherwise I’ll have nightmares again…” “Levi… come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

You grabbed his hand and took him into the most comfortable bed in your mansion. It was a double king sized bed with a warm weighted blanket on it and soft pillows. “Since we’re not homeless anymore you can actually sleep on a proper bed.”, you said. “The only soft thing I had was your body…” “Now you have all these pillows to sleep on! Come in.” You picked the blanket up for him to get under it. “I’m not tired yet.” “Levi!” “It’s true. I spent 20 hours a day slaying some deformed giants with some little knives. I don’t get tired easily.” You rolled your eyes and facepalmed. “How did you even join the Corps?” “They caught me committing crimes and I didn’t want to deal with a sentence so I just joined them I guess.” You took off his cape. “This can’t be comfortable to stay in for too long.” “Be careful with that, please.” You raised your eyebrows as you were folding it.

“It’s from a friend I’ve lost.”

“Levi… I’m sorry. You must have lost a lot of your friends by now.” You began unbuttoning his shirt. “Fighting for the whole of humanity while you had to witness your comrades dying… it must be hard, I know…” You kissed his forehead and held him. “His name was Erwin…” “What was he like?” He remained silent. “I understand.” You kissed his forehead one more time You pushed him on his back and sat on top of him. “Stay like this.”, you said. “This is not how we would do it when we were kids.” “We’re all grown up now aren’t we?” He pouted. “Do you want me to get off you?” “Hm I don’t.” He looked to the side and you finished unbuttoning his shirt. “You’re chiseled.”, you said. “Thanks.” You noticed that he began blushing and giggled at him. “Shut up!” You kept giggling while rubbing his stomach. He was silent the whole time.

A few minutes passed of you just stroking his tummy. You looked up at him and he was just staring at the ceiling. “Levi?” He stared at you in silence. “Do you want me to stop?”. “Whisper to me.”

You laid down next to him and placed your lips onto his ears. “Like this?”, you whispered gently. “Hm. I don’t think you can put me to sleep anymore. I used to be about tired by this point.” He yawned. “Levi…” He turned his head to the side. “Not tired.” You got back on top of him. “Maybe it’s better if I squeeze you like this?” “It’s whatever really.”, he said. “Just go ahead and whisper to me.”

“Don’t be afraid of having nightmares, Levi. I’m going to stay up all night and wake you up if it looks like you’re having them. Just like we used to when we were kids. Forget being a soldier, forget being an adult. Just enjoy the warmth you’re feeling right now, okay? You’re going to fall asleep in this warmth and wake up in this warmth, so enjoy every moment of it. Back in the Underground it was so cold, wasn’t it? Well, those times of coldness are over now. Those times of being scared are over now. It’s just you and me. Cuddling like we used to. Protecting you from your nightmares, Levi. And then we can-“

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He stared into your eyes and then slowly closed them.


End file.
